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Ask Nick and Ben Vol. 3

Nick Tzianos and Ben Rivers

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  1. “Important question, how many fingers am i holding up?” – Collin

Well Collin, I can say, with confidence, four.

  1. “How do I tell Nick to never speak again and how do I tell him he sucks???” – Emma

To start Emma, that’s not very nice. However, the most effective method would be to remove his vocal cords, as then he would not be able to make any noise at all. However this may be a tad extreme for a few, and a simple strip of duct tape and a sock would work as well. However, this comes with the drawback that he is still able to make noise and I’d not necessarily forever. Once this is done you can simply tell him he sucks, as he can no longer protest. You could also write him a nice card. For example “ dear Nick, with the best regards, you suck, sincerely emma.” Hope this was helpful.

  1. “what should I do when people hurt my feelings?” – Garrett

Well Garret, the first thing you need to do is acquire a pair of traditional flintlock pistols. Then, approach your abuser and challenge them to a duel, preferably at dawn. Now, once you have arrived at your chosen location, you and your opponent will send out a representative,in a last effort to prevent the duel. Fearing for his life, 9 times out of 10, your opponent will withdraw his hurtful remarks and you can both leave happy and unharmed.

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